Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Rain, Pour, Wash

Drip, Drip pour

Devour what I was before

Drip, Drip pour

Feed me life and give me more

Drip, Drip pour

Show me what you have in store

Rain, Rain drown

Clean me in, and blow me down

Rain, Rain drown

Clothe my heart, but take my crown

Rain, Rain drown

My heart only beats, when your around

Friday, March 19, 2010

"I am looking through Rose colored shades. I have learnt how to live...How to be In the world and Of the world, and not just to stand aside and watch. And I will never, never again run away from life. Or from love either..." -Audrey Hepburn (Sabrina)

The Lesson of Love

This week I am moving into my grandparent's home. Two of the greatest influence's of my life. Anna Judith Winter(Judy) and Marion Edcar Winter(Ed). Together they taught me how to work hard, to nurture, to be nurtured, and to eat. They showed everyday what it meant to be constantly devoted to a savior. Grandpa and Grandma loved me unconditionally, they wanted me. The greatest feeling in the world is one of self worth, and they had a determination to show me mine. I have two brothers, three sisters, and a myriad amount of cousins; and I guarantee they all felt this way.

Their greatest lesson, however, was the lesson of marriage, how to love each other. They never had much money, but they always had each other, they always had their family. My grandparents had five children together: my Uncle Phillip, my Aunt Cecilia, my father, and my Aunt Shirley. My Grandpa, like most men of the time, enlisted in the arm forces. He was in the U.S. Coast Guard, while my Grandma was at home with four kids. It seems to me that my Grandpa only thought of his family, while in Japan he had portraits made of them, he sent them letters. He wanted only to be there, with them.

My grandparents truly loved one another. They were married for over fifty years. They built a home, in love and in foundation. They planted seeds together, and the fruits of their labor stand true today, a garden, a family. They provided for their family in all the ways they knew how to, and they did it all together...as one body. Marriage...one body.

When my Grandpa died, most say, so did my Grandma. It's hard for a body to stand, when it has no legs...no firm foundation. Grandma has been moved to a nursing home, and every time someone visits, she cries. It's the familiar faces, the reminder of a home, a spiritual home, that make her cry. I don't believe she'll ever truly be at home without him.

That's love.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Living through the sunrise...

"...The rising sun will come to us from heaven, to shine on those living in darkness, and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace..." Luke 1: 78-79

The sun will rise
It will tan my skin
The sun will rise
It will warm within
But if that sun don't rise
Then I'll shrivel, I'll die
And If that sun don't rise
I'd be sorry I said "Good bye."

The rising of the sun is such a spectacular life lesson!! It is not fickle, it is unwavering. When I feel down trodden, all I have to do is wait. Every morning my God rises the sun to meet me, and a new day. There well may be many sunrises in my life. I will thank the Lord for every one.

"For most people, we often marvel at the beauty of a sunrise or the magnificence of a full moon, but it is impossible to fathom the magnitude of the universe that surrounds us"- Richard H. Baker

Monday, March 15, 2010

My Greatest Passenger

The road is open

The road is tough

Keep your eyes foward

Or the trek get's rough

Because this one's feirce

You can't crumble

It's not for the weak

But it is for the humble

Take small steps

Know the unmotivated fail

Realize your potential

And your strides will prevail

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Home is where my heart is.

It's time to pick up and leave. Pack my things up, in search for a new home. We moved here over a year ago, and now our time here has come to an end. I don't think I will ever be completely comfortable with moving away from a place I called home. There's a certain bit of security that a heart needs, and it's found in stability...stability only a home can give. A home gives sanity, a place where you can always hang your hat.
In life, we are all searching for our home, whether it is love or bricks and a bed. Our hearts yearn for a familiar face, a familiar place. And in such an uncertain time as this, we will look to the thing we call home. We will look to it for comfort, for encouragement. With college approaching quickly, and having to uproot my life, home is becoming such a distant entity. And it's becoming harder and harder to trust a place enough to call it home. I'm scared.
It's becoming just God and me. We are the last ones left, and I'm worried I'll buckle under the pressure...and my half of the battle will fail. The time has come to do the process of change into a man, and grow into my own self. But I question whether I have the strength, and the will, to do such a transformation. Do I have the strength to make difficult decisions, even if the are the best possible options? Do I have the will, the want, to leave a life that I am comfortable in? God only knows, and time will tell.

"I'll move to Rockferry tomorrow
And I'll build my house baby with sorrow
I'll leave my shadow to fall behind
And I wouldn't write to you 'cause I'm not that kind
Not that kind"
"I'll leave the stars to judge my every move"

Friday, March 12, 2010

Up in the air

Meet me in the air
Only if you dare
Up in your hot air balloon.
Please, oh please, make it soon
You can follow me to Paraguay
We can stay another day
Meet me in the air
The wind will blow your hair
We can fly away to St. Lucia
Girl you know I'm missin ya
Meet me in the air
Just so I can stare
Girl you make my heart go lame
Please let's put the world to shame
Meet me in the air
Because our love is rare

The Frog I Still Hold In My Hand

I hold you in my hands,
Though I'm desperate to let you go
I could just drop you
I could open my hands
Then you'd realize, you'd understand

I hold you in my hands,
As a way to protect my little frog
It keeps you from growing
It keeps you from pain
Is it wrong to protect you from the rain?
I hold you in my hands,
I just long to set you free
Though harm for you
Is harm for me
The holding you hurts now, can't you see!?!?!

I hold you in my hands
And it's ripping me apart
Though if I release you
You could die
And then I'm sure, so would I.

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Water Rolled to Meet Me Once

The water rolled to meet me once

Once, the water fell to reach me

Our hearts were a love affair once

Passion, fury you'll never see

Because the water swirled to me once

Once, we were consumed by lust

It would chill my heart, calm me once

Then it left me, broke our trust

Once, the water smashed against my skin

It washed away all my features

It revealed all I had, out and in

It covered me, it pushed me deeper

But the water doesn't want me now

The tears are all that fall

It exited, it's final bow

I yearn for it, I call

Because once the water left me here

I became barren and alone

Hope dried up, replaced by fear

My heart is now a stone