Thursday, March 29, 2012

Stressful Speaker

I wish I was a rich bitch, who owned a BMW
Dollar for each I pain have, breathe it in, start anew
Not only will I change the world, but from it where I catch the view
Sick of all the walls I see, fly to Paris out the blue
Money changes everything, changes what I look like to
See me in the street someday, on me where yo eyes are glue
It's okay, I would too, especially after I get through
Wanna know what I do? Look up to the skies a blue
Wanna know where I flew? Check the heavens, where I drew

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

There For All the World to See

Saw her flying free
Freer than I'd ever be
Not as beautiful as me
There for all the world to see

Not near as small as I
Such a smile makes me cry
Why aren't you wishing just to die
Can't you see your life's a lie

Why pretend to keep your gaze
Like my body doesn't phase
Beauty is as beauty weighs
See me now, and give me praise

True happiness is in me
My appearance is what's free
Earned the right to vanity
There for all the world to see

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Shallow breathing.

There was a chill out, just cold enough where my heavy breaths were being carried in a smoky wind around me. I had left the partiers inside, as not to damage the reckless out of body experiences they seemed so desperate for. Standing near the middle of the road, my car sat near me with no destination. Left alone in the piercing silence of the air, my sudden loneliness fell with panic in my heart. Quickly I pulled out my phone, with not a name to call, my breath began to shallow. In desperation, I looked to the sky but there were no stars. There was no God tonight. On a planet of a billion people, I was one. I was a single, insignificant compilation of DNA, soulless. I held my hand in front of me and questioned it's existence, with my own. If no one knows me, who am I. Only the shiver vibrating in my abdomen, thought to be caused by the weather, would validate any sort of reality. If, affected by the world, I shudder; I must be present with in it. For a brief moment, I feel that my legs might buckle underneath me. In that instant, a fighter is born and I sense my feet begin to move. Quicker than I would have imagined, the houses around me become blurs of dark greys, every turn becoming a shadow in my mind. As I futilely pound achy steps into the ground, the wind cuts into my eyes. Tears run in every direction across my face, soaking the collar of my shirt. Blinded by a sea of my own despair, I abruptly stop running. My destination is a hill looking over several houses, so close it would seem the residents struggled to breathe. Forsaken tricycles and dolls sat discarded, and uncared for across the span of many front lawns with barely definable territories between them. It struck me, suddenly, how much I enjoyed riding a bike when I was younger. It had taken me so long to learn what now seemed to be such an easy task, and I would ride my bike for hours. Cool relief poured over my hot, wet face, as I remembered how much I adored the spring air slapping me as I rode up and down my childhood. Taking advantage of my new sanity, I decided to trace my steps backwards.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Two of Us Boy, One of Us Girl, All of us Together

The sun was setting directly upon us. Shades of orange and yellow had begun to pierce the sky, once the reflection of our pale green eyes. The three of us, innocent enough to the outside world, had transcended to a dire realm. Leaping from each patch of grass to the other, we playfully avoided the dirt and sand which had been distorted in our minds to become wonderfully dangerous amounts of fire or lava. Dizzy, we frantically giggled our way to certain, imagined safety. Two of us boy, and one of us girl, all of us together were complete. With leaps and bounds around each other, ceaseless spinning began to pour into a hazy tornado of ourselves. Through the whirlwind of confusion, all that was visible was her hair. A briar bush of tangled, rich brown locks a glow with the aftermath of what the day had been. A careless blanket of carefree curls all ablaze with the setting sun, twirling all around a giving, blithe toothy grin. Three forgotten, uncared for smiles dancing without precision, all gleam with the pureness of happenstance and the ignorance of an impending future. On the wind a foreboding cry is carried. A siren pushes faster towards us with fingers outstretched for our open hearts. Familiarity wins, as we callously grab dirty identical hands and fling into a delicate circle. An army of infants can be heard in the distance, proudly displaying a war cry. Utterly unaware, we three almost angels continue the quest for exhaustion, and the idea of present purpose.

Thursday, March 1, 2012


Tears in a bathroom stall
No one left for me to call
Waiting for a real redeemer
Stomach falls, left to crawl
On my knees just to see her
An angel who will have all
She'll let me know what we were
Why it is you never call

Answer why I have the feelings
Why it is I search the ceiling
Every time I hit the floor
Hazy. Don't know what I'm seeing
Watching for you by the door
Remember only you agreeing
Couldn't be a burden bore
Always thought my love was freeing