R. R.

Love is a service
And we pay with time
Didn't catch your check
So I cashed in mine
Everything is fine
My life's divine
If hearts had a toll
You couldn't pay the fine
 You are lukewarm, you are a moderate
I said that I was ready, YOU were hesitant
And, I meant every word of it, all of it

Maybe I wasn't ready to submit
But you were always too lit...
                                                 ...to commit
Hypocrite
Emotional counterfeit
Knew you didn't mean it
So, I got the bill split
Don't double talk to me
I can hear and I can see
Grab some authenticity
Never infidelity
Just your jealousy

Each moment a space I've never seen before
My feet are standing here but my minds at war
You keep saying that you love me
I hit restart, restore
If it didn't work when I restarted
Guess I still needed more
Sex, sex, sex
Makes the world go turn
Flex, flex, flexing on me
You like the world to burn
Sec, sec, seconds
Of your time I've earned
Wreck, wreck, wreckage
I can't seem to ever learn
Nobody seems to have the right advice for me
And when I ask you to decide
It isn't about apathy
I've stayed up, laid up in all my chaos
Filled up, swallowed up with anxiety
And no pay off
If asked once more about sobriety
I'd still choose you
And, they can fuck off

Spring in Wonderland

My life is a conundrum
and nothing is fact
sometimes I drink coffee with cream
and sometimes it's black
sometimes I'm a girl
and sometimes I feel whack
but the task's intact
and the mask is cracked
took the pill you gave
still missing what I lacked
out of the womb
it was "redirect" "refract"
I love to pretend
to act the great act
but what is real
identity abstract
I'm not who you think
that's the fact