past. Dreams

I won’t regret

the dreams I had

with you in 

mind. You drenched my

eyes with your 

words. I can’t understand my

story with out you in my

past. Dreams 

don’t die when people 

leave. You’ll always 

be in my

past. Dreams

continue. Will you

dream of me too?

10/06/19

The hardest thing in life is swallowing “I love you”.

But it be harder, for me, to keep wallowing in untrue...

                ....niceties, formalities, rehearsed varieties 

all leading to emotional distressing mediocrities.

Sobriety, bitingly, never filling this cavity. 

Is it you or me who hasn’t seen this decisively?

It was impossible for me to swallow “I love you”.

But it’s possible that I just allow my own undo...

           .....from reality, totality, especially neutrality, 

from being able to hold a sense of my own morality.

When I say I want friendship, I don’t want all the pageantry. 

9/18/19

I’ve made my bed every day for 33 days

Making crisp lines before I’ve even started the pot

I forgot to take my medicine for a couple days

I used to keep it next to our coffee maker

I’ve made my bed for 33 days in a row

It has become second nature, a flick of the wrist and I’m smoothing and I’m done

I haven’t shaved in over a month

Sometimes I workout twice a day though

I’ve made my bed for 33 days in a row

But I never unpacked my suitcase 

It has been 33 days and I spend time differently

Can you tell?

9/14/19

I wipe the counters down thoroughly 

With the idea that you might see this

We opened our reposado and looked up at the moon

“It won’t appear like this for another 30 years.” I said

I rinse my sink out the way you would

Perhaps, just maybe, you’ll see it

I’m unsure it the harvest moon or the tequila

Your mouth taste new, or just different 

At the gym I’ve been going further with the barbell 

“Your chest is getting bigger.” You said  

Yesterday when I saw you, I felt new, or just different 

When was the last time that I saw you

09/11/19

I possess love that has yet to be spoken.

What’s the difference between being apart and broken?

We can’t swim, yet we dive in the ocean. 

Because I’m there, and I care, and I can’t win.

And I’m scared you’ll declare me a has been.

Wherein I’m within the only confines where I have been.

So, should we just leave everything out there unspoken?

A word unsaid is a word actually chosen. 

Am I heart apart or heartbroken? 

I possess love that has to be spoken.